Middle-aged Midwich?

Caffeine consumed: Not enough, apparently
Illicit substance intake: Zero, to my knowledge
State of mind: Puzzled, and slightly spooked


Seems I have a Secret Detractor (or whatever the opposite of a Secret Admirer is). Come to think of it, she's none too secret either.

Every morning as I get on the bus, am met with the disapproving and very direct glare of one of my fellow travelers. No idea why.

She's a smallish woman in her late 50s or early 60s with grey hair scraped into a bun, thick glasses, no make-up, and a brown duffel coat. Ordinarily, wouldn't even notice her, let alone be spooked. But every day, she's there as I flop down in my seat and open my book - staring malignantly at me as if I had just eaten her entire family for breakfast.

Tried staring back in silent challenge - but no result. Tried ignoring her, but still feel her gaze boring into the back of my head. Want to approach her and look down from my full 5 ft 10 and say "What?!", but fear of public ridicule and lack of caffeine-fuelled bravado stop me.

Is it my shocking red hair that offends her so? Or the fact that I am so obviously not Greek? Perhaps she's decided I'm a wanton strumpet out to devour the cream of Greece's young men?

Probably shouldn't worry - her prob, not mine.

But what does worry me is the fact that... she seems to be multiplying.

This morning, climbed onboard bus and spotted her at the front, twisting round to deliver her daily glare. I turned to head for the back - only to come face-to-face with her clone, also giving me 'The Look'.

Was like a late middle-aged version of The Midwich Cuckoos. Two identical faces glaring at me in mute but insistent accusation.

Flippin' 'eck, how many of them will there be tomorrow?

Just decided, I'll be working from home for the rest of the week...